my heavy heart.

|| saying good-bye to our home on Harvard Avenue in Salt Lake City ||

It's been a little over a month here in New England.  And the reality is settling in to my heart that we are not going "home."  Home is here now.

Except it doesn't feel anything like home.

It reminds me of my darling dear friend who moved to our neighborhood in Salt Lake City right before we did.  She missed her home & life in San Fransisco so much and wished so badly to go back.  And while I totally sympathized (hello. it was San Fransisco she left. . .), I also wondered "how could anyone not want to live here in this charming little neighborhood?!

Isn't it interesting how everyone's ideal is so different?  To me, our tudor home on Harvard Avenue on our tree-lined street, all nestled up inside the big city . . . that was perfection!

And yet it is so beautiful here in New England.  It is quaint.  It is earthy and simple.  I see the beauty with my eyes.  But it has yet to sink into my soul.  I think it will eventually.  And I have a sneaking suspicion it will occur when the thermometer is consistently above 50.

I hope to fall in love with this place, like I did our last home & neighborhood.  But there is this persistent quiet pinging in the back of my head that keeps faintly saying why? . . .  why? . . . . why? . . .

- - - - - - - - - -


Honeybee said...


Ashley Beal said...

Sweet pea!! It makes me sad to read this. Even though I've heard you say it with your own mouth! It just makes the hurt fresh again. I hope you will find happiness there. It will take time…maybe a lot of it. But I picked up this awesome quote from a book I am reading, "Life before death, strength before weakness, journey before destination." It is not merely reaching 'happiness' it's our trials, our refining, the ugly times--our journey--that make the destination worthwhile. Does that make any sense?!?! At any rate. I hope you find your peace soon. I love you to death. You can always take a short drive on over to Michigan. ;)

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